wah raining again. heng nv plan to go swimming. the ent lectures are super long and sian. aiyo. the last lecturer spoke really slowly.
anywayz seems like more and more ppl are knowing about my split with the cg mate, haha, expected lah. news spread like wildfire in medfac one. anyway not like ive anything to hide. but anyway today i was super amused. becos yr came up to me and ask mi if there was sth going on between me and hope! omg, that's really funny. why would anyone think of that. HAHA. anyway i told him it was impossible. haha...and my reason for the split is neither tension (between me and ht) nor love (btw me and hope) haha... the top most reasons ppl will think of. it's really hard to try to explain to everyone wat exactly happened after my decision, but let's jus say everything's settled now and i'm realli glad i had the talk with ht. good that we trashed things out. but i duno wat's the status now, between me and the rest. becos i seriously dun see them in the same light anymore. like, im wondering, how come i haf frens like this. i dun realli need frens like this. haha. i duno, maybe i'm still abit resentful, still abit angry and some things that happened, still feeling abit yuan1 wang4 for myself. i duno, all i know, i'm realli glad to have frens like u ppl who are reading this blog. HAHA becos coincidentally, none of those frens who i've just mentioned have access to this blog. =) this blog is meant for the highly privileged. =P
hmm, i guess ALOT, and i mean, ALOT of ppl realli wonder wat's the reason for my decision to split. to put it simply, i just wanted a change in environment. but ppl sure bound to think that it's becos i quarrelled with her/can't stand her watever. haha...i haven't realli written about this so i guess it's time to share with u guys wat are my thoughts becos alot of u all are v concerned about me, thanks... just for ur info, we din even quarrel lately. haha. actually we hardly quarrel also, im a peaceloving person. [really, i try to tolerate as long as i can] HAHA... yah so it's really, purely becos i want a change in env...i've been working with her since jc/med sch yr 1 until like NOW...it's realli a very very long time. some ppl will wonder? then wat's one more yr? well...there comes a point in time (and also fate: like how come suddenly dean's office allow us to change) when i think we all need a break from each other. and i tot this is a great chance to make that change. not like she's a terrible working partner. i do enjoy working with her. but wat's wrong with changing man...we've gotta move on and mix with others, get new experiences, get a chance to work with others. after all next time when we graduate and go out to work, it's gonna be like this. we've gotta be adaptable and work with diff kinds of ppl. i know alot of ppl are very unwilling to step out of their comfort zone/adapt to new ppl, work in new groups and get to adjust to the new group dynamics and all...but well...i think that's how it's gonna be like in future.
and why i was so upset previously, was becos of the way things turned out. basically she had problems forming a new cg, ended up she had to disrupt many other ppl's cg due to ppl's preferences and somehow those affected just conveniently had the blame all shifted to me. and she only got down to settling it ONE day b4 the deadline. so those ppl whose cg are affected as a result are feeling abit upset/distressed watever. as jiamin told me, im at a disadvantage becos ppl can easily say "if only qichang din wanna change.." everything just blame me. like HELLO?!?!?!? i told her 2 wks in advance, she chose to settle it SOOOO late. and who she chooses 2 be her next CG mate...is none of my business right? she want to group with ___ my fault ah? then all the repercussions also my fault....u think i intentionally want her to disrupt so many ppl meh? she dun haf/dun wanna find other frens out of this clique....MY FAULT AH! wah biang eh. pissed off. and not to mention the verbal abuse by a fren who called me "IRRITATING" right smack in my face. i was stunned. and realli upset. and im STILL not gg to talk to him if i can. muahaha. blocked him on msn. HAHA.
anyway after the talk with her, i realised there were alot of misunderstandings. anyway my conclusion is that clique of ppl [except txl, timo and hope] are a bunch of coks. firstly all of them were upset with me cos i did not show any concern about the whole matter. LIKE HELLO? i only knew about it when? one day b4 the deadline. how am i to show concern. and i had no input from anyone, no one updated me on stuff, how am i to show concern? how do i noe who to call man? wah biang. and believe or not the first fone call i got from ht was on saturday (1 day b4 deadline) itself...not anytime b4 that. and after that no more fone calls. crazy coks. and best thing is, they all haf so many hidden agendas, THAT's WHY they say they couldn't tell mi the truth. like wah lau, u all win already loh.
first u all cannot tell mi the truth on wat's happening.
then u nv keep me updated on things cos ppl got hidden agendas.
AND THEN U ARE UPSET WITH ME FOR NOT SHOWING CONCERNED?
im realli baffled.
and of course, they all sympathise with ht becos she's so "ke lian" cos i "split" with her...and she can't find another partner...and of course...add in some tears...ppl automatically point finger at me. wah win already loh. i become the bad guy.
so basically, tat's about wat happened that made me so emo the past few wks. haha, come to think of it hor. quite funny. cos me n ht found it awkward to talk to each other after sch reopened...haha we hardly exchanged any words since ophthalmo posting. she doesn't wanna look at me...i tot she angry or wat. then after the tok, i realised she tot I was angry. HAHA...wah lau moral of the story: communication is very important. wanna play guessing games, can play until the cows come home..anyway after a good talk with her i think we're kinda back to normal. really glad.
to my concerned frens, thank u very much for ur support. thru this episode, i saw who are my true friends, and who really understands me. =) at least i still gained sth from this. haha...altho it was a pretty bad experience.
anyway, im realli excited in planning for my bday dinner!! HAHAHA SUGGESTIONS SUGGESTIONS on where u all wanna go PLEASE!! haha...
♥Bid Farewell