aiys.
another blog that i visit frequently sorta closed down. boo! (haha, u know who u are!)

oh well. i think there are indeed many things to consider while blogging lah. but basically i think the best is to not to take things too seriously la! haha...relac relac! hee.

anyway, sigh i wonder if you guys have ever been teased at/bullied at some point in your life...i suppose it's rather common. but actually i think i've been "bullied" rather frequently since young.

haha, dun worry, it's not like i have some serious yin1 ying2 or wat lah. lemme tell u more.

it's like in pri school, ppl are always laffing at my hair, calling me names all stuff like that. seriously, name-calling is the meanest thing. it really hurts and there's nothing you can do to fight back. becos once the "name" is "called", it's called. they've said it, and u've heard it. it totally sucks. no, i wasn't some social misfit, i do have good friends, and i'm sure those friends of mine weren't intentional, as you know, kids talk without thinking much. (actually some adults too lah! HAHA) but deep inside i was really upset. as u all know i have naturally curly hair, when i was young it was quite thick and pong pong so ppl always tease me about it...calling me "maggie mee", "bao zha tou", and even "fann wong" cos at that time fann wong had some hairdo that was bombastic too. i was basically a nice person, too timid to scold them back..i'll just smile and walk away and feel like shit the rest of the day. but as i grew older i learnt how to ignore all these lah..i have better things to worry about wat.

and of course sometimes ppl also say im fat, esp when im the fattest of all among my siblings. my elder bro and sis are skinny pigs lah. actually i personally don't think im THAT fat, c'mon im not even in TAF club and i play sports when i was young, but everytime relatives compare me with my 2 siblings, they'll comment, "you're fat but ur sister is thin", or other indirect ways like "wah ur sister very skinny hor?" or "how come ur sister is so skinny but you are not?" HAHA like i know? maybe we have diff metabolic rates? watever. anyway eventually i grew to appreciate my own body...and sometimes i think being skinny isn't pretty at all. (i still think so, so girls out there, dun be mad and starve urself lah!)

another issue is to do with my name. As you all know...my name can be quite hard to pronounce..esp to ppl who heard it the first time. then they'll distort the whole name and pronounce it in a different way, and indirectly they are actually calling me names without knowing it. all these similar incidents happened all the way back from pri sch, sec sch...jc not so much i duno why. HAHA maybe my frens are nicer and respect me more? i duno. just to name a few terrible examples (i know u might find it funny but seriously, I DO NOT FIND IT FUNNY AT ALL and im in fact quite hurt everytime it happens)...ppl call mi ji1 chang3 (airport), zhi chang, zhi chuang (piles-i remember my sec sch math teacher called me that accidentally and some of my frens laffed at me), ji3 chang1 (water chestnut in hokkien) blablabla...as u can expect, i felt realli resentful. why did i have such a name? in fact we dun even have control over our names...it's wat our parents gave us...so whenever ppl distorted my name i felt like they were insulting me and my parents...my name actually means "fine jade" but ppl distort it until like shit. it totally sucks. wat more i don't have an english name to turn to unlike many other ppl who hate their chinese name. but guess what? ppl actually enjoy laffing at my "distorted" names and they realli laugh over it and continue to joke about it, think of other versions etc.

and if you were thinking why i wrote all of the above? becos just today, some ppl made fun of my name. AGAIN. AFTER SO MANY YEARS. on the surface i seemed really cool about it..i just smiled and laffed along..blablabla...sigh. i'm such a petty person right? but seriously i thought we should at least respect a person's name. after all, it is our identity. and wat's most unbelievable is that this group of ppl are my classmates, future doctors, who are supposed to be sensitive to patient's feelings blablabla....wah i realli duno wat to say.

i think im fated to be laughed at.

♥Bid Farewell